Harry Kane won the Ballon d'Or and I'm not even going to pretend I'm mad about it. Yes, this is the same man who has punished my beloved Arsenal more than once. No, I haven't been kidnapped. I just respect real ballers, and he's one.

I know I probably sound like I have Stockholm syndrome at this point, especially after what I wrote about Messi 😂. Bear with me, I've got a lot to say about this one.

Why Kane deserved it

Honestly, I'd have given it to him just for what he did to Arsenal last week. In Munich on October 21 he scored a penalty and set up Alphonso Davies for the other goal in a 2-2 draw, and it was his 10th Champions League game in a row with a goal, one off Cristiano Ronaldo's record. He also took the Gerd Müller Trophy this year, with 73 goals for Bayern and England.

But the goals are the easy part. To me he's one of the very best strikers of his generation and the most complete one. What he does besides scoring is second to none. His passing range is insane, his finishing speaks for itself, his hold-up play is elite, and he can dictate a game from the number 9 spot, which almost nobody can. He's an all-round player.

He might lack pace, but he still finds ways to get past players, and he's got the occasional quick feet when you least expect it. And he's evolved his game so much from the Spurs days. I respect that.

And yes, I do think he's a more complete forward than Kylian.

Mbappé, Yamal, Haaland and Olise

Mbappé wouldn't have been a bad winner. He finished second, and I do think he's up there with Yamal as the most devastating player in the game right now, especially with his World Cup exploits. But I can't lie, him winning it without a trophy would have left a sour taste in my mouth, especially up against Kane.

Lamine had a great year and looks like he's gone up another level this season. He'll win it eventually. The World Cup didn't do him too much good, funnily enough, despite him winning it.

The two I feel didn't get the recognition they should have are Haaland and Olise, especially Olise. They finished eighth and ninth, and I'd have had Olise a lot higher.

Arsenal got robbed (again)

What really got on my nerves with this award is how they keep overlooking and undermining the individual exploits of Arsenal players. I'm still reeling that Henry never won it, especially that Nedvěd year, and now they've robbed Raya. Why?!

Raya finished second in the Yashin Trophy, behind Unai Simón, with Courtois third. How does he lose to a keeper who had such an eeew club season? Yes, Simón won the World Cup, but come on. If that carries so much sway, then why didn't Messi or Rodri get this Ballon d'Or ? They have to be consistent.

Same story with the defenders. Rice came 15th, Gabriel 21st and Saliba finished joint 29th. That's way too low for the seasons those three had. And Cubarsí is 12th, higher than all of them? Give me a break. Like what?

Saka's Socrates, and the World Cup problem

Saka won the Sócrates Award for his work with the charity BigShoe, and that made me chuckle. It reminds me of when I got called up for library prefect back in the day while everybody else was fighting for the senior prefect position 😂.

Jokes aside, we've always known Saka is an amazing human, and we're proud he's one of us.

Now to the World Cup problem. Luis Enrique lost Coach of the Year to Luis de la Fuente, when Enrique has won the Champions League back to back. Once again they keep picking and choosing where to prioritise the World Cup and where not to. Mate, just have two separate awards, one for country and one for club. Problem solved.

Shout out to Putellas

Shout out to Alexia Putellas. She won the women's Ballon d'Or ahead of Ewa Pajor and Khadija Shaw, and she's really become the Marta of this generation.

What's funny to me is that PSG won men's Club of the Year, but look at who's taking home the individual awards. Yamal won the Kopa Trophy, Vicky López won the women's Kopa, Cata Coll won the women's Yashin and Pere Romeu was named women's Coach of the Year, and those are all Barcelona names. So are PSG really the club of the year? I'm just asking.

The fits

Shout out to everyone who dressed well for this one. It was a sea of black suits, but some people really stood out. Check out the post on Instagram and vote for the best outfit.

Now go vote

It's our turn to hand out awards. Go vote for our award at fiveasideent.com/awards.

And Raya had better win the 5A award 😒